Losing It

41 pounds and 49 inches down.

I look in the mirror and I don't see the weight gone. Maybe when I reach my goal I will. But there is good chance that I will always look in the mirror and see myself at my heaviest.

All of my pants are hanging off of me. I don't want to spend the money on any new ones until I can't put it off any longer.

I'm proud of myself for making it this far.

Ring Suprise

For the last couple of days I have felt FAT, gross and ugly. Not looking in a mirror was been my main focus. I cant tell that I have lost any weight, even though I have.

For months now I have been trying to get my wedding rings back on. I haven't been able to wear them for about two years.
So, a couple of times a mouth I would try to slip them on. I could never get them on. It would make me very unhappy, but for some reason I kept doing it.

Tonight I thought I would continue with my own personal torture. I got my rings out of the little black box. I took a deep breath and slipped them on. GASP! They slide right on down. THEY FIT!!

I look down at my hand now, and there it is the band that my husband placed on my finger. Its wonderful having it back on, where it belongs.

Working on Me

July 3rd I weighed myself and started on this whole new life. I bought a gym membership. I threw out lots of bad food in the house. I bought new food.

Since then I have been eating right, working out and drinking lots and I mean lots of water every single day.
At first it was very hard. But as the days have been going by, it was become easier. If you will, a new way to live.

I pay attention to every thing that I put into my mouth. Everything. I have even been eating things that I would have never before even touched. Fish, bananas, fresh figs and more.

I have now noticed that I cant eat like I used to. Pizza, forget about it. Any kind of sodas, no way.

I am proud of myself. (Cant believe I have something positive to say about myself)I'm doing this weight loss thing the right way. Its been a month since I last stuck my finger down my throat. Am I recovered? No, every day is still a battle after I eat.

As of two weeks ago, I quit the gym and I am now working out with my Best Friend. We work out to the Biggest Loser six nights a week. She has lost 25lbs doing just that. I'm extremely proud of her. She has come so far.

So as this journey through my new life continues, I will strive to be the best me possible. I will hold my head up and aim for my goals. I will support my Best Friend through her journey. I will NOT put my finger down my throat. I will NOT give up.

Competition

A friend and I at work are in a compitition against each other. We have 3 months, well less now, to lose weight and then pay the winner a dollar for each pound lost.
Heres the thing. She has lost 6 pounds, I have gained 2.

The point is, is that I have started my throwing up again. I know, I know...not a good thing to do.
I do it and then feel so much better. I'm slowly harming my body....I am aware of this but I still do it.

I hate being FAT and feeling uncomfortalbe with who I am.

5 Pounds

Five pounds down. Not alot but its a start. I would have thought I'd had lost more.
Here I am at work. Uggg! I so don't want to be here today. I would rather be at home laying on the couch and watching TV.
I truly hope that I will get this new job that I have applied for. I don't think I have ever wanted a job this bad before.
Father's Day is the coming Sunday, I just now realized.
This week is going by SO slow. I prolly say that every week. O well.
I have been having a pain on my right side. Not sure what the cause of it is. Guess I'll wait a few more days and if its still there I'll make an appointment to see the Doctor.
I'm so bored! You know when someone goes to work they should not be bored.