Zoloft Withdrawal

I ran out of Zoloft on Friday. Me being me, I thought I would be fine and make it till Monday so I could get my pills.

Wrong.

Friday I felt fine.

Saturday I was having the yard sale. Felt kinda funny but thought maybe it was the weather. It didn't cross my mind that it could have been not having my meds.

Sunday. Sick. I was having panic attacks. Feeling sick. Was hot and then cold. Could not get comfortable. Paced most of the day. Figured, OK, I definitely need my meds. Called to see if I could get any some where. No. Called people I knew. No. Finally called Lisamom and asked if she could give me something to calm down. She said yes. Sent Josh to get it.

This Morning. Felt OK when I woke up. A little shaky. Took a shower, started to have a panic attach. Had to shower with the shower curtain open. Was going to call in but thought no, the girls will need me there. Wont be fair to them.

On the way to work, had a panic attack. To late to call in so continued on to work.

I was shaky, sick to my stomach and realized that I wasn't going to make it through out the day if I didn't get my meds in me.
I asked the RN if I could leave to pick up my meds. She said sure.
I drove all the way to the pharmacy and they had to fax the Doctor. I was out of refills.
Got upset over that, and of course had another attach.
Made it back to work. Got back on the unit and then all hell broke loose. I have four panic attack.
Explained myself to the RN. I opened my big mouth and she found out that I had taken some meds from my Stepmom. She asked me if I had a prescription for them I said no.
She then told me that I would have to be drug tested. And if anything was found then she would have to terminate me.

Don't know what a panic attach is look here: http://www.medicinenet.com/panic_disorder/article.htm




I freaked out and called the Doctor....don't have to worry. I DO have a prescription for it.
I was sill made to take the drug test.

RN said that I should not be having panic attacks since it takes a week for the meds to get out of my system.

Wrong! A person can have withdrawal symptom's up to eight hours of missing a dose.

Zoloft withdrawal symptoms can occur at any dosage. Zoloft withdrawal symptoms can begin within eight hours of a missed dose and can last from one to eight weeks. The particularly nasty Effexor withdrawal symptoms can easily last beyond eight weeks.
http://www.add-adhd-help-center.com/depression/zoloft_withdrawal.htm

Withdrawal Symptoms:
*Anxiety
*Dizziness
*Fatigue
*Vomiting
*Restlessness
Muscle and joint pain
*Jolting electric "zaps”
Tingling sensations
*Fever
Abdominal discomfort
Flu symptoms and general malaise
*Sleep disturbance and insomnia
Nightmares
Vivid dreams
Anorexia, agitation
*Irritability
Aggression
Confusion
*Memory and concentration difficulties
Lethargy
Tremors
*Headache
*Insomnia
Nausea
Visual hallucinations
*Diarrhea
*Blurred vision
Vertigo
Gait disturbances
*Sweating
Weakness
Myalgia
*Chills and hot flashes
*Crying spells
Suicidal thoughts

Ive put a star by the symptoms that I have had or still have.

Seems to me, this RN doesn't have a clue what she is talking about.

Plus its my body. I know when something doesn't feel right. I think it was uncalled for to be drug tested. But since I had nothing to hide, I agreed to take it.

I now have my meds. Still panicky, still have most of the symptoms... but I feel calmer. I think the reason for that is, I'm at home, safe, away from people looking at me like I'm crazy.

Competition

A friend and I at work are in a compitition against each other. We have 3 months, well less now, to lose weight and then pay the winner a dollar for each pound lost.
Heres the thing. She has lost 6 pounds, I have gained 2.

The point is, is that I have started my throwing up again. I know, I know...not a good thing to do.
I do it and then feel so much better. I'm slowly harming my body....I am aware of this but I still do it.

I hate being FAT and feeling uncomfortalbe with who I am.

Missing Her

I saw a picture of you today, it took my breath away. With it came the message, "I miss her..."
I looked at the picture for quite some time. I remember that smile.

I remember Her there. Sitting in that chair with Her white hat on.
I miss Her.
I remember when She would lace Her fingers through mine, while we sat there outside.
I miss Her.
I remember how Her face would light, when she talked of Her family.
I miss Her.
I remember the stories that She would tell, and how calm she would become.
I miss Her.
I remember the songs that She sang, and How I sing them now.
I miss Her.
I remember how She would come up to me, asking for a hug. Wrapping my arms around, I'd hold on tight.
I miss Her.